I wish I had a Rewind Button

One day my sisters and I were playing outside with all the kids that lived on our cul-de-sac growing up. This was a normal experience where we would be outside until the street lights came on, but this day was a little different. There was a really nice grandma aged woman that lived on our street we never really paid her any mind because she didn't have any kids so there was no reason to go to her home. However, we saw that a man was there and he had Huskys! Just so all of you know I am a HUGE dog lover! If you have a dog with you I will probably want to pet it and snuggle it, LOL! So as you could tell I totally wanted to see the dogs and hang out, but what made it even more appealing was that his Huskies had PUPPIES! So obviously it was a no brainer that I was going to go cuddle with them. My friends and I started visiting these puppies daily and asking the man if we could take the puppies out to my yard and play with them. He allowed each kid to grab a puppy and take care of them. Little did I

know that playing with these puppies would be the cause of my mom dating this man...

Let me just tell you about this Man! His name is Dan and he was my favorite. To me he was the coolest person "Adult" I had ever met and my mom decided to date him and I couldn't have been more thrilled! They dated for a few years and to me it was the best ever! From the beginning him and I had a strong connection. He had 4 daughters of his own that lived with their mom, but they were close in age with me and my sisters. He was always up to do family trips us. He had ATV's and Sandrails and lived out where there was horse property. His neighbor had horses so I ended up taking horse lessons from her and doing a few Horse Shows. We would also go out to Sycamore Creek in Arizona whenever we could and ride the ATV's. We would go out there and spend the entire day tearing it up on the Quads. I LOVED IT! We took trips to the Sand Dunes and blasted "Bad to the Bone" and the Eagles on the radio. Picking up Taco Bell for meals and having so much fun. He outfitted the back of his big truck with Shell and put benches and a tv so my sisters and I could ride back there on long road trips. When we weren't out tearing up the desert we would go to the lake. He taught me how to wakeboard and we would tube and have so much fun. Him and I developed a very close relationship and I for sure thought him and my mom were going to get married. Until the day she broke it off with him...

The day she told me I was absolutely devastated! I thought he was going to be around forever! I definitely didn't understand why she ended it with him and honestly still to this day I don't know why. After they broke up and when I was old enough to drive I would drive to his house and see him. I wanted to maintain that relationship, but my mom hated it. I had even had a dog that I got and couldn't take care of it and I asked Dan if he would keep her because she needed the space and not my apartment life. He took her with no questions asked and he loved her. He eventually started dating another lady and she is the sweetest. I did her hair while I was in Arizona and she just recently reached out about meeting up when she is visiting Colorado. It will be great to catch up with her. So like Dan, my mom started dating someone else and she knew I was still going to see Dan every now and then, but when the new guy became a permanent fixture she asked me not to see Dan anymore because it was inappropriate and it made her uncomfortable, so to not make any waves I did as she requested and I stopped going to see him. Was that something I wanted? Not at all! He is a great man and honestly who I wanted as my father figure due to the fact I didn't really have one. Unfortunately doing what my mom asked I no longer keep in touch with him and regret it so much. I hope to see him again one day and be able to sit down and have a long conversation about what happened.

I honestly wish I had a rewind button to go back to the day my mom told me to stop talking to him and tell her "NO!", because the hypocrisy is she continues to talk to a couple of my ex's! One who still works on her vehicles and the other being my ex husband who enjoys making my life a living hell. One thing I have learned and continue to learn is you cant predict the future, but you can do what you feel is right in the moment. I did not do what I felt was right in that moment and I lost a great relationship.